VáNoční

Je docela smutný, že někdo nedostane k Vánocům to, co by si tak vroucně přál, že někdo si nestihne přát nebo že někdo dokonce nestihne Vánoce a nejvíc smutný je to, že někdo o Vánocích  píše blog; tak jsem se rozhodla využít přestávky mezi pohádkama, jídlem, pohádkama, jídlem...a vytvořit jeden vánoční příspěvek, popěvek, vlastně skoro koledu, asi upadla jsem...

Jelikož Vánoce jsou dost složitý na nějakou hlubší analýzu, jsou plný různorodýho diskurzu a dalších hoven, rozhodla jsem se uštědřit Stědrýmu dni a večeru nadílku v podobě širokorozchodně antropogenderové a hustodémonsky krutopřísné poézie vánoční,  zvlášť pro lidi, co jsou třeba na noční, protože  to asi musí bejt dost vopruz, a teď vlastně ani nechci bejt cynik ani drsná, ale asi to tak i je ne? VáNoční je pěkně hnusná.

Kapřík ve vaně už není, 

kaprojedi i voči snědí,

jen krev všude zůstává,

a Vánoční atmosféra nás..nasr..nasává..

Dary reciproční, seberegulační, legrační.

Smuteční, srdeční, srdečný a jedinečný?

Co strom zase shodil krom jehličí?

Náladu jepičí, ještě že máme kadidlo, frantíky, 

pupuru, a chlast. Opijem se na hadříky.

Bez alkáče žádná sláva? Višna, Brahma, Rámajána?

Bhagavadgíta jak Brno,

Bible, tý je všude plno..ale fuj.

Dostanu od hipíka jelení luj,

abych prej neměla tak prořízlou hubu!

Že na vánoce sprostá budu?! 

Fak jů. Budu. 

Jak hodina pokročila..a Popelka teda taky mimochodem,

živím se již sedmým hlavním chodem,

sedmým vínem, vlastním klínem,

kam napadalo všechno vod tý prořízlý huby, po Listerovsku,

zvládám vánoční clichee po mistrovsku.

Dlouholetý trénink bystří smysly,

je čas, je zas,čas

 uchichtávát se  nad nesmysly.

Zas.

Nastal ten Vánoční čas.

A než bys zvedl hlas,

radši držíš hubu a krok,

máš plnou hubu a za rok..zas.

Stay Conscious

B

Mysleli jsme si

Mysleli jsem si, že až budeme velcí, budeme si dělat co chceme.

Mysleli jsme si, že až si budeme dělat, co chceme, bude to dobré.

Mysleli jsme si, že dobré, je všechno, co není zlé.

Mysleli jsme si, že co je zlé, to neděláme a dělat nebudeme.

Mysleli jsme si, že když nic nebudeme dělat, což je v podstatě to, co chceme dělat, všechno nám spadne do klína.

Mysleli jsme si, že nám do klína spadne všechno, co chceme aby nám tam spadlo.

Myslelli jsme...  a spadli jsme.

Chtěli jsme se zvednout a postavili jsme se na vlastní nohy.

Chtěli jsme po nich jít, ale bylo to jenom jako.

Chtěli jsme aby to bylo doopravdy, ale řekli nám, že ještě není čas stát na svých nohou a dělat si co chceme.

Chtěli jsme proto usilovně dřít, ale zlenivěli jsme.

Chtěli jsme prorazit a zachránit svět, už tolikrát..a nešlo to.

Chtěli jsme se sebou něco dělat a spadli jsme zase.

Dnes už Víme.

Víme, že myslet (znamená hovno vědět) nestačí, a proto víme.

Víme, že dělat si co chceme, stát na vlastních nohou, nic nedělat, chtít zachraňovat svět a ještě k tomu psát akademické texty, nejsou tak úplně koherentní činnosti.

Víme, že myslet si, že to jednou půjde, je nesmysl, to se musí vědět.

Víme, že padat je dobré.

Víme, že zleniví každý a vlastně každý sdílí ta stejná trápení.

Víme, že zachráníme svět.

A taky víme, že jsme mysleli, že chceme, a dnes..dnes myslíme, že víme, že chceme.

Stay Conscious

B

Hesky Česki

Nedávné prosincové události mne natolik uchvátily, že jsem se rozhodla potrénovat se i v jazyce rodném, tedy českém, který, ač je mým jazykem mateřským, nikdy nebyl hodnocen lépe než za tři. Proč, to je otázka, jejíž odpověď by trvala osm studijních let víceletého gymnázia.

Chtěla bych využít plný potenciál jazyka českého a zkrotit ho jako krásnou, klusavou klabonosou kladrubačku (ne, že bych to někdy dokázala, natož se o to pokoušela), koníka, tedy kobylu, klisnu, která ržá, řehtá a řehoce se své vlastní řvavosti. Řachá jako řemdih, hříme jako bouře a naříká jako řeřavé dřívko. Oř.

Ale i koňovi se vobčas musej povolit votěže, nechat bejt, vodpočnout, lehárko viď. Samej vopruz když ho furt ňákej člověk vole tahá, teď  ho nenechá vydechnout ne. Porád doňho šťourá, kopejtka vomejvá, češe, prostě ježiš, nechte ho bejt ne. Dyť to je upe  hrozný, rejt furt do koně. Lidi to taky nemaj rádi, když se do nich reje žejo. a furt ŤuŤu ňuňu kobylka vole, toje samej džendr, plodná klisna viď. 

Gómáš na tém že? Taká kobyla móže hodit festovní kakáč. Nechej kobylu kobyló a vošolníme se v ňáké sajtně ve štatlu. Naglgáme se a zhulákáme jak ožungři. Tož to není eklovačka, že? Betálně festovní, takhle hantýrovat. To s ňákym cajzlem, to by byla mlata.

Jenže ty vole, češtinu vole, tu nemůžeš jen tak vojebat. To je totiž tak hustý, ta čeština. To máš jako kdyby se ta kobyla vysrala, tak ten kurevskej puch ze sebe už taky nesmeješ. Ty krávo a to je vono ne? Takhle je to s tou zasranou češtinou vole. Tu už ze sebe taky nedostaneš tyvole. A je ti dost k hovnu že jako se učíš anglicky nebo tak, na to mrdat. Zpíčená angličtina vole, němčina ještě zkurvenější. Ale do prdele, ta čeština.. To jen čuráci nechtěj mluvit česky, mrdky jedny. 

Stay Conscious.

B

Leaving Traces

The definition of trace is essentially its meaning: traces are about to be found. But some traces are not quite visible, they are just carved in the stone of one's soul. Yet, it doesn't mean they cannot be found. People leave traces everywhere, physically and psychically.

Physical traces

They are easy to find, most physicall traces are considered to be some trash, footprints, fingerprints, but also bigger scale traces such as traces of a civilization. Buildings, social structure (I guess I could argue for its physicality), damaged nature... Traces on one's body, such as tatoo, bruises or scars. Traces are made not only by humans, but I try to zoom on human issues. Such as poops. 

Psychical traces

Easy to find, too. Only thing about finding them is the usage of  different tools for it. By psychical traces I mean the soul things or the spiritual (not the religious way) sphere of one's inner world/soul. 

Metaphorically, I can still talk about trash or waste which remains after both, deep or shallow experience in the form of trace left in the soul.

Footprints in soul? Why not?! Someone can trample on, or kick your soul hard, the footprints will remain permanent such as step into the fresh asphalt road. The road which ways through you. Stepping into life and simultaneously into soul doesn't have to be that hard. The most remembered footprints come from your own feet, while you fell down to the bottom.

Fingerprints are made the same way, by me considered as more gentle and softer. But it's not always true. The soul, sometimes meant as "heart", can be squeezed, punched or scratched very seriously. In most serious cases, torn or divided some other way.

Buildings..don't you think it is really easy to build inside you? I guess, it is. One can build a wall, fence, box around self or around your heart. One's heart can be a bank, you give and take. Or it can be a dark tunnel.

Skipping social structure of soul (for the rason of unebearable wideness of the topic), damage as a type of psychical trace is created by actions mentioned earlier - by waste, footprints or fingerprints. Damage recognizable by bruises, scars or tatoos..

At the end, these traces will make  a poop on/from one's soul.

Stay Conscious.

B

To Chop (Suey?) & To Fire

HARD WORK?

Although thinking is a very dangerous process, it brings some specific freedom. It also brings questions but doesn't always bring answers. And from this unattached point of view, I decided to celebrate such a simple activity - Chopping wood.


Chopping wood shows us, how Simple is good. It is done by pure power and swipe, its purpose is to destroy, and the result is (in usual cases) fire.

WORLD OF WARCRAFT VYRKUL CHOPPING WOOD

We can express ourselves through destruction which is not penalized in the end. We can use our power without thinking of wider consequences. We are able to cleave, rend, chop and cut. To cut the Gordian knot of chopping wood by thinking about the deeper meaning of it. Chopping wood is usually located somewhere outside, so this activity is beneficial for health and when it comes to freeing the power, it is beneficial for soul, too.


This whole process could be easily described alone, without the purpose of setting on fire. But the fire, in our days meant as our enemy, not a friend that accompanied us for millennia, made me think about how important the fire is to humans in any "form", figuratively speaking.

• Fire is warmth.
• Fire is blaze.
• Fire is passion.
• Fire is maze.
• Fire is servant.
• Fire is craze.

I hope my readers will recognize that my considerations of chopping wood and fire have the atribute of being transfered figuratively. In relationships, sometimes you have to chop very hard, to split it up, but in some time, with many chopped chips, you will be able to blaze up love.

LUMBERJACKIE

Stay Conscious.

B

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3voawEb6Xgw&ob=av3e

Metamorphosis&Amoeba

DRAGONFLY METAMORPHOSIS

Recent discovery of the temporary composer, Phillip Glass, made my consciousness work as never before. I was pulled into a whirl of emotions and my perception has sharpen on the maximal level. 

I now see metamorphoses everywhere. While travelling by bus, I was looking at the trees, colouring themselves to show us that the fall came already. They were metamorphosed. Next metamorphosis came in next few seconds when the wind blew and the red-orange-yellow-brown leaves, flew as autumn butterflies, shaped in the lines I saw only as the result of animation, except this was real.

SOMEHOW LIKE THIS

Phillip Glass composed five metamorphosis and I have to wonder, where he took inspiration. If I was a composer myself, it would be That moment. I have no gift of composing music, but I'm trying to compose words together to make them show the attitude.

Fall and fly, you colorfull leaf,

fall and fly from the tree you leave.

Fall and fly with the wind you love,

Fall and fly, and I start to breathe.

Metamorphosis is possible to be seen also on human exemplars. I compare humans and their behavior to amoeba. 

Amoebas between us

As I mentioned earlier, people change. I recognised, people have now so many possibilities which form they choose to change to. Using clothes, styles of beahvior and powerfull halo effect, one can become rough punk, elegant conservative or a hippie rebel. If you wanna metamorphose for a day or the lifetime, you can be whoever you want. This wide range of  possibilities causes me serious laughter, on not serious problems people invent while they has to stagnate in the form they do not like. 

ENOUGH METAMORPHOSIS FOR ME

Sometimes one does not even try, but the metamorphosis comes unscheduled. Or I should better say, unscheduled for one's consciousness, but maybe scheduled by some kind of "nature" (psycho-socio-biology? um..) in us.

JusTrying

Trying to reach the point,

Trying to smoke a joint,

Trying to break the prose,

Trying to metamorphose.

Stay Conscious.

B

Fuente Ovejuna, Wants and Needs

NOBODY BLAMES HAPPY MAN
-HOMER SIMPSON-

Grumbling at somethin one or everyone around don't want or don't like has no sense. Better do something for common good. Simple as it sounds? Unfortunatelly not. The reason, why in our times is impossible to act against something we don't like, is that we are not sure about common attitude as the villagers in Fuente Ovejuna were. Declaring our opinion is so easy, but the act of disagreement is not. If one would possibly act in the way of resistance, he cannot depend on everyone taking the blame. Lope de Vega describes this as a collective guilt.

My recent thoughts were about where we can see a collective guilt in our days. I don't want to exclude global climat changes, femine, or wars but I don't feel capable of writing about this kind of stuff, it's too global and hoary.

WHAT IS YOUR CHOISE?

The point I reached in finding collective guilt is zero. I can't imagine the enormous unity of people that would be necessary for some visible and reasonable act of disagreement. People believe in doing so in case of some global catastrophe or alien attack, but they would find it in movies, not in practice. I don't believe even some religious group could unify even small masses of people without someone playing on his own. 

It's hard to find someone unselfish, altruistic and free-minded who wouldn't choose himself before the others. And at the end, monks from the monastery far far away, will decide about survival of common good or self profit.

WANTS&NEEDS

..are closely  attached to this topic. 

I tried to distinguish between what I want and what I need. These terms usually cross, merge or sometimes eliminate each other. Using highschool math there is few possible combinations:

1. What we want is what we need.
2. What we need is what we want.
3. What we need is not what we want.
4. What we want is not what we need.
5. We don't know what we want or need.

SELF-PRESERVATION

These combinations do not count with common good, at all. Everyone (altruistic persons will forgive me) plays on his own, so don't try to save the world and enhance yourself. Self-preservation will solve this for you at the end.

“Hunger, love, pain, fear are some of those inner forces which rule the individual's instinct for self preservation.”

Albert Einstein

Stay Conscious. B

Way too much!

SUCK IT BABE

Considering myself a weirdo I must submit my limit of bearing "too much" is wierdly high (self-praise?). There is always too much work, too much noise, too much..of anything that crosses your mind. But that's just what people say to keep the conversation on. Let's see things from a different angle, the Conscious one.

An efficient experiment to find out one's "too much" is to talk in public about perversion or sleaze, any kind of deviation or about violence. It happens sometimes, person is not experimenting and yet, the reactions speaks in very obvious tone: "This is too much." 

My believes consist in being nonconformist, time to time. Sometimes on purpose sometimes not. How many of you ever wanted to react in a completely different way? To say something gross, do some impolite gesture, to suggest some activity far away from common moral code?

I DONT HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THIS IS
IT'S JUST GROSS.

What surprises me the most is my own affection by that code. While I was looking for pics to post, I was disgusted by what I found googling: "gross". It almost reached my own "too much" limit. Still I considered potential readers (and here we go again!) and decided: at first: not to put any of those gross pictures to my blog, then: to put some gross picture, but again considering common limits of tolerance.

I would say the picture is "soft-gross" (inspired by soft porn).

JOEL PETER WITKIN
THE GRACES, LOS ANGELES, 1988

This topic might seem a little decadent, but as my friend noticed - the word "decadency" is kind of hoary and overrated (thanks Mito). Still I will not give up on a visit of a new exposition "Decadence Now!" . I heard it's "too much". And I have a provocative mood to go visit the decadent film festival by the way. Who is gonna join me? (No, but really?!)



STUFF WHICH HELPS YOU SLEEP AGAIN:

• hot milk with honey or cocoa
• fairytale 
• sleeping pills
• punch in the face

I'm remaining curious to see, discover and test theese and also other awkward social limits and I'm sure they will make me laugh (again and again). What else can I do about them, anyways.

Stay Conscious.
B

SHIT?!

Conscious B and Changes

I belive it is not the main purpose of having a blog to write about myself. But my childhood socialization brought some indelible skills I have internalized. For example to introduce myself while interacting with someone unknown. 

CAN OF COKE

It is not necesary to bring here what I do for living, how old I am or what is my favorite colour. I'm trying to introduce myself as a human being influenced by pressure and expectations from the outside, so that person is worried if there is even some small piece of one's real character, somewhere,  deeply hidden.

Recently I realized I don't really like some things that made me happy earlier. And also, I don't like some of those indelible skills that changed my personality to a pressed can of Coke, but to do the right thing, sorted and thrown into a bin for metal.

READ THE SIGN:
LEMON ON A WATERBED

What I do like, are, for example, my unusual asociations. These are observable in the moment of silence. I'm not saying my thoughts loud with respect of other people who might not understand. And that's wrong. That's what makes my characted hiding behind political correction,thoughtfulness, 

precaution, and played symphaties.

This all led to the sudden awakening, which I describe as making me conscious violently. It is up to everyone, how would you explain the word violently. As I checked on Google Translator, there are at least 11 meanings for it in my language (my favorite no. 7). Here I'm giving you the space for your own imagination.

CATCHES OF CHANGE:

People change. The change is usually sudden, unexpected and most of the cases, it hurts. The thing about hurting is not fixed to the person who experiences the change, much more it affects people and commitments around. This fact might be the major aspect deciding IF to make the change.

Even if just a quick shake up is needed, I recomend to think it through. More valid for blowing away the cobwebs/bigger scale change/.

MY PENDANT HAS CHANGED A LITTLE
NOTHING SPARKLES NOTHING GLITTER
-
A SHELL FROM BEYROUTH

CHECK:

A wise man changes his mind, a fool never will. Spanish Proverb VERSUS: All change is not growth; all movement is not forward. Ellen Glasgow RESULT?

Wisdom lies neither in fixity nor in change, but in the dialectic between the two.

Octavio Paz

OR:

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another.

Gail Sheehy

LAST SERIOUS CHATCH OF CHANGE:

 I HEAR THE BUZZ, THE FALL BRINGS FREEZE.

 AND WHEN IT DOES, I CHANGE TO THESE.

Stay conscious.

B